Time

DO you ever want to go back in time, all of the things that you've said and did were somehow not good enough and somewhere in this twisted cosmic world we call home there must be something better that we could have done with our time. Unfortunately we seem to realize how we could have done things differently after the fact and most of the time years later when we are old and gray and wonder why we for one second made some of the descisions that seemed so foolish to us now.

I have decided that I want a "do-over", thats right a "do-over", I think that I should honestly get one, I mean how many times can I keep repeating the same mistakes over and over and over again, or how about how I have lost the same 20-40 pounds my whole life, I mean you would think that the 12 dozen times I had gotten down to my "goal -weight" I would have thought "hmmm I should make sure that I stay here so that I don't have to do that much work to get back here"...nope, I made sure that i just kept shoving those sugar-induced pastries and all the fine tapestries of fatty american food that I possibly could until one day I looked in the mirror with a much fuller face and a few pant sizes larger.

You think that after doing something and then conquering it and then doing something and then conquering it and then doing the same exact thing and conquering it the same exact way that I would have learned by now how to stay there or at least write a book on how to get people there because I've gotta be an expert in the field by now. It still amazes me that we as the human race are still creatures of habit, sometimes it's a good habit that keeps you organized, on time and balanced, but mostly I think it's just a horrible excuse to be comfortable and never go out of that habitual-zone so that we can tell everybody when they ask, "well why don't you start your own business", or, "why don't you try for that higher position", or, "how come you haven't lost those last 10, 20, 30 pounds".....And you can say that you simply have life planned out, you are in a groove and cannot afford to break it, you are too comfortable and it's too late to change and do something worth while, I mean c'mon after all no one really expects that of you anyways...right..

Maybe not, noone probably expects you to change or do something completely out of the norm, but what about you, what about what you expect of yourself, do you simply want to live life, pay your dues and then for the last years have nothing to really look back on but all that comfortable wasted time.

There is nothing that I want more than to keep moving, always changing, always evolving into this wonderful, amazing, beautiful woman I was always created to be, and you know what I will, I will become her and I will make sure of it, no matter if I fall flat on my face a million times, no matter how many people tell me I'm in dream land and need to come back to reality, no matter how many times I hear that little voice tell me I'm not good enough, that i will never be enough...I WILL DO THIS, I WILL MAKE MY LIFE SPECTACULAR, I WILL MAKE MY DREAMS MY REALITY, I WILL NOT GIVE UP....I WILL NEVER STOP.

Once you finally decide who you want to be and what you want to do with your life and what is more important...you fulfilling who you are or being comfortable with the mundane, you need to decide, pick one, I don't care which one, all though I hope it is following your dreams, and then do it!

I bid you all a farewell till tomorrow!

Warm Regards,
Candace

Vegan Chocolate Cake
1 1/4 cup of Flour (I use Barley Flour)
1/2-1 cup of organic sugar
1 tsp of baking powder
1/3 cup of oil ( I usr coconut oil)
1/3 cup of cocoa powder
1 cup of warm water

Mix all dry ingredients then add wet ingredients to dry and mix well, put in oven at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until fork comes out clean, Enjoy :D